Congratulations! You're the proud owner of The Fart Pedal - a guitar effects pedal that turns your guitar noises into fart noises.
Step 1: Power your Fart Pedal!
Your Fart Pedal operates on a 9-volt battery, but also has one of those little pluggy things on the side for an alternate power source. I asked the engineer and he said, "9V, tip negative, 2.1mm barrel jack," for what that's worth. If you opt for battery power, go grab a Phillips-head screwdriver and unscrew (lefty loosey!) the four screws on the bottom panel of your Fart Pedal.
See that little snappy thing connected to the red and black wires? Go ahead and snap a 9V battery to that sucker, and tuck it nicely inside. Screw the panel back on (righty tighty!), and appreciate the heft of your powered Fart Pedal.
One 9V battery should provide approximately 10 hours of continuous play, in case you'll be using it with your Phish or Dead cover band. Make sure to disconnect the input jack after use, or the battery will continue to drain while not in use!
Step 2: Connect your Guitar!
If you've used a guitar pedal before, this part should be easy. The Fart Pedal has two jacks on its sides - Input and Output. The guitar should be connected to the Input jack, and the amplifier should be connected to the output jack. See the diagram below:
Note: This diagram is not to scale! We do not recommend using The Fart Pedal with Hobbit-sized guitars and amplifiers.
Step 3: Adjust your Farts!
The Fart Pedal has a knob and a switch to help you find the perfect fart tone.
Wet / Dry Toggle
The Wet / Dry Toggle can operate in three positions.
In the up position, The Fart Pedal will play wet farts - the type of farts you might experience after a hearty meal of beans and soda pop.
In the down position, The Fart Pedal will play dry farts - the type of farts you might experience after consuming healthy roughage, like lettuce or broccoli.
In the middle position, The Fart Pedal will play neutral farts - the type of farts you might hear at a sanctioned TootFest, or boast about at a slumber party.
The output knob controls the volume of the farts that are sent to the amplifier. We recommend you start with this knob turned to full volume, and then adjust until the volume matches your guitar's natural tone.
Step 4: Stomp n' Toot!
Now that your pedal is connected and adjusted, it's time to turn your guitar noises into fart noises.
This part is simple - engage the stomp switch! You'll know The Fart Pedal is active because the LED indicator at the top of the pedal will glow GREEN.
Once the light is green, it's tootin' time! Strum or pluck your guitar strings, and brace yourself for some epic tush honks.
When you or your audience think you've had enough, engage the stomp switch again. The green light will turn off, and your boring regular guitar noises will return.
Bonus: Let's Get Prankin'!
The Fart Pedal is packaged with three re-stickable fakeout decals. Stick one of those over The Fart Pedal logo, and suddenly you have a super inconspicuous non-farting pedal that you can sneak on your friend's pedal board.
When your rube goes to lay on some ultra fuzz, kick in a phaser blast, or give their tone some crispy crunch... well, you know how this ends. And it's with FARTS!
Thanks so much for taking a chance on The Fart Pedal. We can't WAIT to see what you do with it. Please post Fart Pedal related content all over the freakin' Internet, and tag it #TheFartPedal. And you can tag us on our Twitter and Instagram accounts, too!
Questions? Shoot me an email - firstname.lastname@example.org.